I’m often confronted (daily, sometimes hourly) by a drive to work in or have a profession in music. More importantly playing music.

I miss so much the sights, the sounds and sometimes the (unfortunate) smells of the road. I miss performing. I want to do it with people who share the same passions I do.

Recently saw John Mark McMillan again, at the Jammin’ Java in Vienna, VA…again. I’ve really started digging into them as a band, and who they listen to, and who their friends are. They played with two groups called Theroyalroyal and Jude Moses. Both totally different. Both (as the bassist from Theroyalroyal put it) “a small piece in the worship conversation”. I really like that phrase. I like the motivation behind it. Or what I feel the motivation behind it is.

I want to be a part of that.

To the title of this post: I can’t decide if I’ve sacrificed my passion (music) for my current (and well paying) career in network engineering or if I’m sacrificing a selfish lust or want of that life to have a better life with my wife, and future family. I see plenty of people having both. I’m sure it’s difficult. I’m sure it’s not what it’s cracked up to be.

I just know I miss it. The timing and location is just a difficult thing for me. I’m so busy with work (sacrifice) and with my church, and all the other things of life, most importantly, time with my wife.


Lord, just tell me where to be.

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